The Johnny Walker ®

The amazing verticality-maintaining device!

Have you ever tried to commune with the Spirit late into the night, only to discover that your knees weren't up to the job? Well, your wait is over! Thanks to the Johnny Walker®, you'll be able to experience full communion while retaining your proper relationship to the vertical.

The Johnny Walker® is safe, made of flame-retardant materials, and includes two cupholders for the ultimate in convenience. Plus, it's equipped with wheels so that your designated non-worshippers will be able to wheel you home when services are over! It's wide enough not to tumble on narrow edges and hangovers -- oops! We meant overhangs! -- and is fully vetted by the KOM.

Available in Glenkinchie Green® with plaid seats (shown) or Bowmore Brown® with leather seats. Order yours now!