MALTOIDS®!
The officially sanctioned pastille of the Knights of Malt, Opus Barlei, and the Caledonian Conclave
NOW YOU TOO CAN SAVOR THE FLAVOR that guides the faithful! Direct from the peat bogs of St. Ardbeg's, Maltoids® are here.
Just slip one of these mighty lozenges in your mouth and feel the awsome fury of the Spirit. Infused with malt, peat, and the purest water from the bog springs of St. Ardbeg's, Maltoids® can make even a mundane mouth feel moved by the Spirit.
A ribald joke passed amongst the monks goes something like this: "Is that a tin of Maltoids in your femoralia, or are you just committing a venial sin?" Seriously though, no monk would be caught out without a tin of our little tablets blessed by the abbott himself. And now you can have the exquisite experience of the Spirit even when the thing itself is unavailable. Try Maltoids®, the Furiously Strong lozenges!
Available in individual tins or cases of 144 for the true believer.
WARNING! The monks of St. Ardbeg's recommend that Maltoids® not be partaken of while operating heavy equipment, driving or speaking with an officer of the court. Ecstatic visions may occur if the recommended daily allowance of Maltoids® is exceeded. The brothers encourage everyone to partake responsibly.
Just slip one of these mighty lozenges in your mouth and feel the awsome fury of the Spirit. Infused with malt, peat, and the purest water from the bog springs of St. Ardbeg's, Maltoids® can make even a mundane mouth feel moved by the Spirit.
A ribald joke passed amongst the monks goes something like this: "Is that a tin of Maltoids in your femoralia, or are you just committing a venial sin?" Seriously though, no monk would be caught out without a tin of our little tablets blessed by the abbott himself. And now you can have the exquisite experience of the Spirit even when the thing itself is unavailable. Try Maltoids®, the Furiously Strong lozenges!Available in individual tins or cases of 144 for the true believer.
WARNING! The monks of St. Ardbeg's recommend that Maltoids® not be partaken of while operating heavy equipment, driving or speaking with an officer of the court. Ecstatic visions may occur if the recommended daily allowance of Maltoids® is exceeded. The brothers encourage everyone to partake responsibly.
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